the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
