seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
