I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
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