I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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