she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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