I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
