Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I am one with the molecules
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
