Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
