too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
