i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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