So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I still have a little drunk in my system
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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