He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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