Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Four minutes until I can fart!
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Sorry about my life...
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
