I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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