Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
