I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize