no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
