just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Randomize
