we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
