I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
