my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
do herpes really smell.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
