We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
