We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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