Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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