i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
