i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
