great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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