I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize