Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize