How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires