Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.