Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.