Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.