he wants to bone in the snuggie
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
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We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
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He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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