At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
