Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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