i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
