can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
