Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
