My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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