i don't plan on having that self control this summer
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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