the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
