dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
What drink are we having for lunch?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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