My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
