North Korea, Best Korea!
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize
