What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Dicks are not precious.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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