just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
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