something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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