I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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