she looked like the before picture.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He better not be in your backpack
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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