My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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