omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
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Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
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I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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