We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
