It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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