He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
