Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
and she was petting her beer can
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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