a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
So apparently I’m into choking now
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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