And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
