Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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