I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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