so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
it's like iHOP with fire
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
