She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
