why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I could fuck to npr.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
