Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Randomize
