Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
