Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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