This girl is more easily done than said...
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
