it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
