every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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